When you listen to the lyrics of this song No, you understand clearly that she does not want a guy coming up to her and asking her to dance. She encourages other women to be assertive and say No when they do not want that kind of attention.
The lyrics are very clear. What throws me off is the video.
In the video, she looks straight to the camera with a seductive look, running her hands all over her and other women's body, showing her cleavage, dancing sensually and even kneeling on the floor while swinging her hair. I'm all up for dressing up and feeling good about your body but...
Is it me or are these actions incongruent with the lyrics? You are saying No but your body says Yes?
This is why men get confused.
How can anyone, especially men understand this double message? Men are simple, competitive creatures, and I mean it in the most kind way. Yes is Yes and No is No. But these confusing messages encourage men to think that Yes is Maybe and No is Maybe.
If you tell a man No, but you are behaving seductively, it turns into a chasing game, a challenge, a game of breaking down your obstacles to win the prize.
Similar to when a man asks, Are you ok? and you answer, I'm fine (when you are not), it confuses them because your non-verbal communication is saying the opposite. Most men are familiar with this type of incongruence; some chose to clarify it, others chose to ignore it to avoid confrontation.
I assume the video was created by a man who understands that the current music video industry is driven by sexuality, but to be frank, I am disappointed because I thought Meghan Trainor stood up for different values, as most of her songs declare.
I would like to see more congruence yet I also understand that social change does not happen over night. I want to praise Meghan for her efforts and exposure to such a difficult industry and for continuous rebellion against the norm.
